Category Archives: Lisa and Jeff

The zany adventures of Lisa and Jeff

Money … tickets … passport … holy water

We’re leaving tomorrow for our trip to the UK so it’s crunch time! Do I have everything? Money? Tickets? Passports? My sanity?


I’ve been planning this trip since 2013 and it feels like a lifetime. But now that we’re less than 24 hours from departure out of Phoenix, we’re zooming through time at the speed of light and if that isn’t enough to bend the time/space continuum, I don’t know what is.

It’s not just the physicality of what we’re doing … money, tickets, passport … that’s looming large. It’s the psychicality (is that a word? it is now!) that’s blowing my mind.

See, there’s a lot going on here. I’m not just going to fly across the Pond for the first time, I’m going to achieve a Bucket List event — visiting the glass-floored “Eye” of the Blackpool Tower. But even more importantly, I’m also doing research for two books, including genealogy research into a witch trial in my family’s past AND doing what I can to break the resulting curse.

Although I’m ecstatic that we’re going, I’m also on the verge of empathic overload. Those of you who have at least one foot consciously in the psychic realm will know exactly what I’m talking about. For those who don’t, I probably already lost you when I wrote about breaking curses.

But, for those of you who are still with me, I’m what some would call “overly sensitive” to the thoughts and feelings of others. It’s easy to sometimes lose track of where I end and the “external” world begins. So, therefore, all of what I’ll be doing over the next few weeks is a little overwhelming.

But I’ve learned, from many years of experience, to just put one foot in front of the other. And for today, that means … money, tickets, passports.

Before I go, here’s you a traveling dog:


Lisa Bonnice is an award-winning, best-selling author. Her current passion-project is a series of metaphysical comedy novels. The first is entitled The Poppet Master (previously published as Be Careful What You Witch For!, now revamped and with a new ending). The Poppet Master is a modern-day fairy tale about Lola Garnett, a bored housewife and office drone who wakes up with unexpected psychic abilities, and no instruction manual, and Twink, the reluctant, sarcastic faery assigned to assist and educate her. The Poppet Master will be available in summer 2019. Its sequel is in the works.

Lisa is also writing The Maxwell Curse, a fictionalized version of a story she found in her own ancestral lineage about a witch trial, a generational curse, and massive mine explosion, all of which left ripples of destruction in their wake, devastating one family’s tree.

http://www.lisabonnice.com

Thoughts on returning to standup comedy, 25 years after quitting – Part 1

My headshot from the old days in comedy in Chicago, circa 1990. This photo may still be hanging in a comedy club near you.


If you read my previous blog, Apparently I’m performing standup comedy again…, you already know that I used to be a professional comedian. If you haven’t read it, go ahead and do that now. I’ll wait, and here is some hold music …

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Since I wrote that blog, my husband Jeff (who has a similar story) and I have performed/rehearsed to develop five minutes of polished material at numerous “open mic” nights, which culminated in a taped showcase at the Tempe Improv (an A room). It’s been … interesting.

Back in the old days (yes, I said that in a ‘granny’ voice), in the 80s and 90s, when I was learning comedy in Fort Wayne, Indiana and then in Chicago, it was a different world with a totally different vibe. There was a camaraderie and friendship with the other comics. I’m not finding that to be the case, for the most part, this time around.

By the way, I’m not complaining about any of this, just making note of what I’m experiencing. It’s just … not what I expected it to be like.

Maybe it’s because I’m married now and decades older than the people I’m meeting. Or, perhaps it’s because I have years of experience under my belt already (I’m obviously not a newbie) and seemingly appeared from out of the blue. Either way, I’m finding it hard to assimilate.

I’ll admit that I haven’t enjoyed the open mic process very much, because of this. It’s difficult to keep going night after night, to practice an evolving set of basically the same five minutes of material, in front of the same group of very young (mostly) dudes.

Performing at an open mic in Mesa, AZ.

Have I mentioned that part yet? Most open mics are a gathering of the same group of people who go from place to place, wherever there’s an available microphone, practicing their material on one another, with perhaps a couple of civilians thrown in. It’s easy enough to get a few laughs when no one has heard your material before, but after the umpteenth time, even sympathy laughs are rather thin on the ground.

This, by the way, is the true driving force behind writing new material and sharpening up the stuff that’s worth keeping: the humiliation of standing in front of the same people who are no longer laughing at what they’ve heard you say a thousand times before is a big motivator.

Aside from a couple of nice rooms that are actually set up for comedy, many open mics take place in random taverns, not places that are designed for shows. One that I know of (which I haven’t done and most likely won’t) takes place on the outdoor patio of a bar, overlooking a busy street.

Performing in a mostly empty room at one of the nicer open mics, improvMANIA in Chandler, AZ.

They always have a microphone, but sometimes they don’t have a stage or even a spotlight. They often have large screen TVs scattered around the bar, which they may or may not turn off during the open mic.

There is either no crowd other than comics, or a handful of people who are just there to drink at the bar and yack with their friends while a “show” goes on behind them. Or, by the time you get to the stage (the lists of comics who sign up to perform are usually very long) the crowd has gotten tired and gone home.

Dig if you will the verbal picture I’m painting. This is what you call a tough gig.

So, that’s what we did for about a month. The showcase at the Improv couldn’t come soon enough, IMHO. For one thing, I could finally blow out those five honed minutes and move on to new material. But mostly, the Improv gets huge crowds and it’s a real comedy club. The excitement and anxiety about getting back on stage in front of a genuine comedy audience was building to peak levels.

I’ll tell you that story in my next blog, Part 2 of Thoughts on returning to standup comedy, 25 years after quitting.

And, of course, here’s you a dog … Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog.


Lisa Bonnice is an award-winning, best-selling author. Her current passion-project is a series of metaphysical comedy novels. The first is entitled The Poppet Master (previously published as Be Careful What You Witch For!, now revamped and with a new ending). The Poppet Master is a modern-day fairy tale about Lola Garnett, a bored housewife and office drone who wakes up with unexpected psychic abilities, and no instruction manual, and Twink, the reluctant, sarcastic faery assigned to assist and educate her. The Poppet Master is available wherever books are sold. Its sequel is in the works.

Lisa is also writing The Maxwell Curse, a fictionalized version of a story she found in her own ancestral lineage about a witch trial, a generational curse, and massive mine explosion, all of which left ripples of destruction in their wake, devastating one family’s tree.

http://www.lisabonnice.com

Lisa & Jeff go to White Castle

lisa-and-jeff-go-to-white-castle-copy

There are no White Castle‘s anywhere near us so in January 2015, when Jeff heard that a new one was opening in Las Vegas, he immediately declared that we must go.

He craves a bag o’ sliders. Neither of us has had a White Castle burger in about five years. Unfortunately, Vegas is almost six hours away from Phoenix, where we live, so it has taken a long while for us to finally get up the time, the money and the energy to make the trek.

This weekend, we are finally going. I hope they’re as good as I remember.

Looking for experts: healthy birthday cake recipes!

I’m sending out the call for experts again. This time, I’m looking for recipes for the best tasting healthy birthday cake!

Yellow Sheet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting & Berries

My birthday is Saturday. I would love to celebrate with a cake and candles, but I’ve  lost 35 pounds and cleaned up my dietary habits to the point where the kind of cake I used to eat would probably make me ill. It may taste exquisite, but I know the aftereffects of eating that kind of thing all too well.

So if I’m gonna have a birthday cake, it’s gonna have to be really healthy, with a minimum of fat, sugar and processed ingredients. (This means no Splenda or aspartame.)

This may sound impossible, but I know there are recipes out there and I’m asking for the experts on this subject to chime in.

If you eat mostly clean, what is your favorite cake recipe?

Why I need a new camera/phone

Black-chinned Hummingbird -- Moab, Utah, USA

This is what I saw. This is NOT what my camera saw. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While out for my morning walk, I saw a hummingbird. Right there. In front of me. Not three feet away. It was zipping around a flowering bush next to the sidewalk, from flower to flower, apparently not minding at all that I was there. I took out my cell phone to triumphantly take my first photo of a hummingbird.

I was so happy. I’ve NEVER been able to get this close to a hummingbird before and have a camera on me at the same time. BLISS!

It seemed to become nervously aware of my presence, but I felt like it sensed how important this was to me. It shimmered while it tried to stay still for me, as I zoomed in and focused the camera. I held my breath and then … snap … snap … two shots! Awesome! Now I was sure to have at least one really good photo of a hummingbird.

Pfffft.

This is the better photo, of the two. It looks like a Where’s Waldo? picture. Can you find the hummingbird? Betcha can’t.

There is a hummingbird in this photo. I promise. I can see it, but only because I know exactly where to look.

There is a hummingbird in this photo. I promise.
I can see it, but only because I know exactly where to look.

Aside from my cell phone camera, I have a Canon PowerShot that I bought a few years ago for about $100. It’s done a nice job for me, overall, considering I’m not a professional photographer. I don’t need anything fancy–just a reliable, good-quality camera to carry around with me for impromptu moments of breathtaking beauty. But, my camera is kind of old and bulky and the new ones are light and sleek. And I never have figured out how to work all the settings–it’s not intuitive enough for me.

So between my search for a new cell phone and a new camera before our trip to Blackpool next summer, I’m hoping to combine the two as well and get a phone with a good camera–hopefully, one that can handle the occasional once-in-a-lifetime hummingbird pic.

Granted, a lot of this is operator error. Even with an excellent camera, that’s not a great photo. But birds really don’t pose, do they? I was lucky to even get this close. On the other hand, other people manage to capture brilliant photos of hummingbirds, don’t they? Part of the problem is that I couldn’t see the screen because of the sun behind me, and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Even so, there should be some semblance of a bird in this picture.

Gaaah. I’m rambling. I’ll stop now. Just wanted to make a note of this so I remember what I want–a camera that has an easy-to-see screen–when it’s finally time to shop. We won’t be making any big purchases for a few months. Right now I’m just wish-listing.

P.S.:  Here’s Waldo …

Here's Waldo

Here’s Waldo

An Old Broad goes High Tech — Vlog 1

Here is my very first Vlog! Woohoo! Lisa steps into the 21st century! I transcribed it for those of you who hate watching videos online, or whose browser–like mine–always crashes the Flash player and makes watching videos hell.

Hi. I’m an old lady, and this is my old lady phone. It’s a prepaid Net10 Samsung T401G, and it’s been perfectly fine, for my purposes. I work from home, so I really only use it for the occasional call while I’m out running errands, or minor things like that.

It has decent text capability, but the browser is practically useless. It’s better than nothing, but it’s really sort of a dinosaur these days.With the trip abroad that Jeff and I are planning next summer, we’re both going to need better phones, cameras and computers, and I don’t want to wait until the last minute to do this. So now I’m starting to research what would be the best phone and service to replace my current one.

I’m leaning toward Credo Mobile, because I like what they stand for, that they are working toward progressive social change. So I’d like to toss my business their way. The question is, is it affordable? I’ll get back to you on what I find out.

I’m also starting to shop around for cameras and computers, and will be posting future blogs on those, so if you’re in the market for that kind of thing, and have advice to share, chime on in!

Testing my camera–wanna see?

In anticipation of our trip to England & Scotland next summer, which I will be blogging extensively, I took my camera/phone with me on my morning walk today. I am learning a few things: how to take good pictures while walking fast; which site to use for uploading purposes; best way(s) to carry the phone to keep it handy, yet out of the way; and how lightweight my new one will need to be.

For now, I’m using my cheapo cellphone camera because I don’t really need a fancy phone yet. I work out of my house, so I’m always near my tech. Once I’m on the road, however, I’ll definitely need a much higher end phone with a really good camera in it. (I have a good camera, but I’m not taking that for these walks–too heavy and unwieldy.)

Anyway, that will all come in time. I have until next summer to research for the right equipment. Meantime, here are some pictures I took this morning. I don’t promise that they’ll be interesting. This is just an experiment:

October 4 2013 morning walk

Miley thinks Blackpool is weird

This article, headlined, “Miley Cyrus calls Blackpool the ‘weirdest place she has ever been’, people of Blackpool revolt on Twitter” gives me cause to smile.

http://uk.omg.yahoo.com/gossip/the-juice/miley-cyrus-blackpool-weirdest-place-she-has-ever-been-blackpool-twitter-103053980.html

I’m not going to say anything bad about Miley Cyrus. She’s a kid, and I’ve matured enough to know better than to take easy pot shots at a young celeb. But I will say that I’m glad that this child, with her particular taste in lifestyle, doesn’t like a place I am itching to visit.

I can’t wait to get to Blackpool. 😀

Okay, this is getting weird

Ever since Jeff and I have decided to make this trip to the UK actually happen, things have been falling into place in fun and bizarre ways. Here is the latest:

In a scene from the BBC mini-series Blackpool, David Tennant‘s character, DI Peter Carlisle, interviews Hailey, the prostitute, (played beautifully by Lisa Millet) about the murder of Mike Hooley. The interview takes place, I’m assuming, in the famous Blackpool Ballroom, with the also famous Wurlitzer organ being played in the background. Carlisle is interviewing all of the local hookers, and has invited them to neutral ground and supplied a nice tea.

Lisa Millet, as Hailey, and David Tennant as detective Peter Carlisle, having tea and questions in the Blackpool Ballrom

Lisa Millet, as Hailey, and David Tennant as DI Peter Carlisle, having tea and questions about sex and death in the Blackpool Ballroom.

One of the things we (well, I … Jeff doesn’t know it yet) intend to do while in Blackpool is have tea and pastries, like Hailey and Carlisle, at the Blackpool Ballroom, hopefully sitting in the same spot and getting a picture or two.

Because having tea in England is not like it is here (usually at a McDonald’s drive-thru) I have no idea of the proper etiquette and I’ve been doing some research so that I’ll know how to behave. 😉

Here comes the amazing synchronicity. Last week, a friend asked me to meet her for lunch somewhere in Mesa, a city about 45 minutes away from here. Because it’s a long drive, I plugged my iPod into the car speakers and listened to a playlist. Yep, I played the Blackpool soundtrack (obsess much? you betcha!). One of the songs is “I Second that Emotion”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ22McAHs3E

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the place we were meeting, and that song–which I haven’t heard, aside from the soundtrack, in many years–was playing on the radio.

But wait! There’s more!

My friend, who has no idea that I’m planning this trip, had a surprise for me. It was an English-style tea party, complete with manners and etiquette lessons. Let me reiterate that she had no idea that I was wanting to learn this very specific and unusual thing.

Boom. Out of the blue. Just like that. I now know how to not embarrass myself once we hit the shores of a country where drinking tea is like breathing.

And I learned that I love Earl Grey tea!

Added to Bucket List: Paolo Nutini concert

The trip that Jeff and I are planning for next summer is based pretty much on things we’ve learned about the UK from the BBC and BBC America. We are focusing, primarily, on the better known British offerings to the entertainment world, like Doctor Who and the Beatles, but we’re wavering off the path to see some that are lesser known here in the States like the seaside town of Blackpool. One of those I’m adding today is to see a Paolo Nutini concert, if he’s performing in the UK next summer.

We saw him perform Pencil Full of Lead on the Graham Norton Show and were completely blown away by the voice that came out of this boy (we’re in our fifties–to us, he’s a boy). Watch him wail and tell me that you wouldn’t go see him live, if you were in the vicinity: