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Stacey M. Kananen: where is she now?

Posted on October 11, 2025 | 2 comments

Fifteen Years Later — Stacey M. Kananen on Survival, Faith, and the Story Behind Monster in the Family

Stacey’s story is about to reach a national audience with the Lifetime TV premiere of Monster in the Family: The Stacey Kananen Story, based on the book she and I co-authored, Fear of Our Father: A True Story of Abuse, Murder, and Family Ties. The movie airs Saturday, October 11.

Whenever I watch a film or series based on a true story, I’m always curious: Where are they now? So, I reached out to Stacey and her wife Susan Cowan to ask how life has taken shape since the trial and how they’re feeling about the movie’s release. I asked them both for their input because, although the title only includes Stacey’s name, Susan was there by her side long before, and remains there after, this nightmare unfolded.

Though we’re no longer neighbors, as we were over the years that this story was playing out, we’ve stayed in touch. I now live in Arizona, and they’re still in Florida. From our past conversations, I know how challenging it has been for Stacey to move forward, particularly in finding stable employment. Her name remains indelibly linked to the accusations of murdering her parents, even though she was found not guilty by a jury of her peers, who reached that verdict in just a few hours.

Unfortunately, employers often recognize her name or discover her story online during background checks, leading to painful assumptions that she “got away with murder.” Despite being qualified for far more, Stacey has frequently been limited to minimum-wage jobs.

The upcoming movie premiere has stirred complex emotions. While its production has been in the works for over a year, the reality of seeing her name in the title and commercials has brought up old wounds.

Still, Stacey and Susan remain grounded in faith, believing—as they always have—that God will see them through. Their prayer is that the movie helps others find hope and seek help.

Susan Cowan and Stacey M. Kananen on their wedding day, 2015

Our Conversation

Where has life taken you since the trial—and how would you describe your life today?

Stacey: Life has been good, but many times a struggle for stability. We now have a small house and are enjoying our little world.

Susan: We’ve been blessed to live in a community that sees us, not the past we’ve been through. We’ve created a happy home and are enjoying life.

What has healing looked like for you in the years since—emotionally, spiritually, and practically?

Stacey:

Emotionally: My emotions can still be a roller coaster—fear, stress, anxiety. Not at home, but in other settings.
Practically: I just get up and function. I deal with many physical issues as I’ve gotten older, caused by years of abuse. You just keep going. Your past cannot win.
Spiritually: I’ve found some peace in a small church we attend.

Susan: We belong to Christ the Cornerstone Church, where we are truly family.

Watch Stacey’s 2023 church testimony

A movie based on your life must feel strange. Will you be watching it yourself?

Stacey: I won’t be watching the movie. Just seeing the title and a short clip sent me emotionally backward.

Susan: I’ll watch it alone, mainly to see how the show portrays the facts.

What do you hope people understand about the real experience behind the dramatization?

Stacey: The pain is real; the story is real. Things like this really happen behind closed doors.

Susan: Until I see the dramatization, it’s hard to answer. But based on other movies, people should remember—what you see on TV is rarely the whole truth.

How did public attention after the verdict affect your sense of identity—and how have you reclaimed your story?

Stacey: Once tried for a crime like this, it becomes part of your identity forever. It’s more like “Guilty until proven innocent.” Even now, 15 years later, I still fight for people to believe in my innocence.

Susan: My own identity hasn’t been affected, but we share our story when we want people to know us—not Google us.

You once envisioned helping others who’ve experienced abuse. Instead, you’ve had to receive help yourself. What has that journey taught you?

Stacey: My therapy journey lasted ten years—intense work with a great therapist and Susan by my side. I wish we’d asked for help sooner. Maybe things wouldn’t have ended the way they did.

Susan: My faith and good friends have always been my strength.

What surprised you most about life after the trial—something you wish people understood about what happens next for survivors?

Stacey: The judgment. The comments about how I was “lucky” to be found not guilty. The total loss of connection with my surviving family. I feel that pain every day.

Susan: The surprise is how, in some people’s eyes, you’re still guilty—simply because you were arrested and stood trial.

For those only just discovering your story now, what do you hope they take away from watching the movie?

Stacey: You never know what goes on in someone’s home. Don’t judge so quickly. And if you’re in an abusive situation, reach out for help. There’s much more support available now than there ever was before.

Susan: The main point of both the movie and the book is that domestic violence is real—and it happens everywhere, in every kind of home. Don’t be afraid to seek help, for yourself or someone you love.

If You Need Help

The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24/7 confidential support and connects people with local resources.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline and provides survivor support and education.

If you feel moved to take action, consider donating to these organizations—or whichever one speaks most to your heart.

Purchasing Fear of Our Father: A True Story of Abuse, Murder, and Family Ties also supports Stacey and helps her continue rebuilding her life.

📘 Available wherever books are sold.

ALSO READ:

How my book Fear of Our Father became the Lifetime movie Monster in the Family

Lisa Bonnice is the co-author of Fear of Our Father, now a Lifetime Original movie (Monster in the Family). Beyond true crime, her fiction explores the mysteries that shape us—from the humor-and-heart metaphysical comedies A Faery on My Shoulder and The Faery Falls to Castle Gate, a genealogy-based historical novel about ancestral healing and resilience, available in both print and audio.

Lisa hosts the podcast NOW with Lisa Bonnice and writes about the intersection of truth, transformation, and storytelling. Learn more at lisabonnice.com.

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Tagged Abuse, book review, Books, Domestic violence, Fear of Our Father, Lifetime, Lifetime Movie, Monster in the Family, Murder Trial, Ripped from the Headlines, Stacey M. Kananen, The Stacey Kananen Story, True Crime

From victim to victor

Posted on July 31, 2011 | 3 comments

We’ve all heard the expression “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, I know someone who was pelted with lemons her whole life and is now making lemon meringue pie. Her name is Stacey Kananen and I am in awe of her.

Stacey was in second grade when her abusive father left her on a floating deck at a local lake to swim ashore or drown. For him, it was a win-win: either his kid learned to swim, or he had one less mouth to feed and a convenient excuse for her demise. Six-year-old Stacey had to make a deliberate choice: sink or swim. She defiantly chose to survive.

Richard Kananen violently and sexually abused his wife and three children for decades. In constant fear for their lives, the family endured his unpredictable whims by ducking bullets, knives and fists, walking on eggshells to avoid sadistic “learning lessons,” as he called the abuse. When he vanished in 1988, they were so relieved by his absence that no one reported “The Monster” missing.

Fifteen years after Richard’s disappearance, Stacey’s mother Marilyn went missing and an investigation led police to suspect her brother, Rickie, of foul play. Rickie confessed to police that he buried his father’s body under the cement floor of his mother’s garage, and Marilyn’s body in Stacey’s back yard.

Rickie eventually agreed to a plea bargain to avoid the death penalty and told police that Stacey—who angered him by cooperating as a witness for the State—helped him murder their parents. She was arrested and charged. Her murder trial aired on CNN’s In Session, as dueling attorneys verbally danced around inadmissible evidence, e.g., Rickie’s own admissions that he had killed their father, his half-written novel about a severely abused boy who grows up to join a secret organization that kills abusive parents, his deposed statement that Stacey was innocent, and much more.

Stacey and Diana Tennis

Miraculously—after years of preparation and in a flawless, Matlock moment—Stacey’s defense attorney, Diana Tennis, finally unearthed a missing piece of evidence that conflicted with Rickie’s story and proved that Stacey had been railroaded. She was found not guilty, but her relief was short lived. Now she had to rebuild her devastated life.

Finally in therapy, she struggled to make sense of what had happened to her. She felt an all-consuming urge to become an advocate for abused kids. She asked me to co-author a book because I—her friend and neighbor—witnessed the seven year process from murder to verdict and had attended her trial. She trusted my background as a writer for MSNBC and knew that I could be completely objective and non-judgmental. The writing of that book is now underway.

But writing a book wasn’t enough. Stacey knew that her calling was bigger than that. Visions of creating a kids’ camp or some sort of advocacy program haunted her and wouldn’t let her go. We brainstormed and researched, and discovered that there is an infinite number of programs already in existence. We wondered: if so many advocacies are already in place, why does this problem still exist? Apparently what society is doing isn’t working. We knew we had to come up with a new idea.

And so, we developed our own program, a new concept called Amnesty for Abuse, to extend a non-judgmental olive branch to those who wish to quit the cycle of abuse. The premise is that the majority of abusers were once abused themselves: abuse is usually learned behavior—victims victimizing victims. Part of that learned behavior is shame. Both the abused and the abuser feel shame for the role they are playing. When one feels ashamed, one is not likely to ask for help to get out of their abusive situation. In addition, admissions made in therapy are often subject to mandatory reporting to authorities. Amnesty for Abuse recognizes the courage that it takes to ask for help and offers amnesty for those admissions as long as the abuser stays in and sincerely works the program.

The format is a compassionate holistic, body/mind/spirit method of therapy that addresses all facets of the human condition and family dynamics in order to help all family members to heal and be healed. The family works together to stay together, if at all possible. The program works as an alternative to the legal and CPS systems, in order to keep people out of the courts and in their homes.

We realize that this could be perceived as Pollyannaism. After all, so many laws make it impossible to offer abusers anything other than harsh punishment, in the “eye for an eye” vein. But as Bill Clinton—who knows a thing or two about judgment and forgiveness—once said, “… the anger, the resentment, the bitterness, the desire for recrimination against people you believe have wronged you — they harden the heart and deaden the spirit and lead to self-inflicted wounds.”

So if Stacey Kananen—a woman who has endured the most horrific things that can be inflicted upon a child—can see the value in a program like this, then why not give it a try? As I said, nothing else seems to be working. Various therapists and healers have expressed amazement that something like this isn’t already in place and recognize the value in this approach.

Stacey with Natalia Antelava

The program is in its infancy, but we’re already gaining support and interest from experts in the field. We have sent out information packages to some pretty powerful people and, as a result, Natalia Antelava–a reporter for the BBC–heard about Stacey’s story. Stacey and I just returned home from a trip to Washington DC where Natalia interviewed her for a documentary about child abuse that will air on the BBC in September, and on PBS here in the States.

Stacey and me in front of the BBC building in Washington

We’re on an exciting road, Stacey and I, and we can’t wait to see what happens next. We’re actively searching for the next logical step in the progression and growth of the book and the program. Are you one of the missing links between now and then? If you feel that you would like to be a part of this cutting edge approach to an age-old problem, drop us an email at info@amnestyforabuse.com!

Stacey’s own blog can be found here.