At exactly this time last Saturday (3:30-ish PM), Jeff and I were still in Washington DC, and the Rally to Restore Sanity had just ended. I realize, in retrospect, that the after-rally timeframe was the real reason we had to be there because we had a very trippy experience, an experience that would be impossible to replicate elsewhere. I hope I can express it in words, because it was too amazing to not at least try to describe it. This will be a photo blog, with commentary, because the pictures will help you to empathically feel into what we felt.
The Rally took place on the Mall which, in case you don’t know, is bookended with the Lincoln Memorial on one end, the Capitol building on the other, and the Washington Monument in between. The White house is a couple blocks north and the entire area is FILLED with ancient looking historic buildings. You almost expect to see Socrates lecturing about dust in the wind (dust … wind … dude) on their steps. After the rally ended at 3:00, the crowd of 215,000 people all exploded into the streets of Washington DC’s Capitol Hill area.
I felt so good I even forgave this guy for standing in front of me at the rally.
Everyone was very groovy and laid back, having just shared a mind-expanding experience with 215,000 kindred spirits. You’ve heard the phrase, “Wherever two or more are gathered in my name…,” right? Imagine two hundred THOUSAND or more gathered in the name of reason, sanity and just being nice. Yeah, we all felt pretty good.
Police had closed off all the streets, so there wasn’t a car to be seen anywhere. Businesses were closed because it was late Saturday afternoon, so the whole scene took on a very surreal tone.
In these pictures, we’re walking from the Capitol toward the White House along Pennsylvania Avenue to the restaurant where we had dinner reservations, Old Ebbitt Grill. The streets are filled with people, but there are no other signs of life.
The lighting is beginning to get kind of trippy. The sun is setting early due to the season change. Although it was relatively warm, it looked like bleak winter. There was a very strange cast in the air.
Wait a minute. Is that … Waldo???
It was right about this time that Clark and I started sharing with each other how weird and trippy we felt. We were both relieved and excited that the other was also in this extremely expanded state. Please keep in mind that neither of us had consumed anything stronger than coffee that day, and even that was early in the morning.
It honestly felt like we were in the most vivid lucid dream that either of us had ever experienced and we chalked it up to the power of the like-minded connection with so many others, in addition to the surreal circumstances of the empty streets in such an iconic setting. (Jeff, on the other hand, was still pretty hungover from the night before, so I’m pretty sure he just wished he could be really dreaming, in bed.)
Then we saw THIS!
and this!
Yes, Darth Vader was there to complete the Zombie Apocalypse tone.
Well, thank god someone was there to tell us what to think, what to do! All Glory to: The Hypno-toad!
We finally made it to the restaurant and discovered ourselves in the midst of a sardine-packed crowd. Clark had, fortunately, made a reservation for us weeks before, so we were seated in five minutes and the folks without reservations had to wait two hours! All Glory to the Hypno-toad? I think not! All Glory to Clark!
Here’s me and Clark, both still half-tripping, at Old Ebbitt’s Grill for dinner.
Here’s Jeff, just wanting some food and a nap. He’s had enough lucid dreaming for one day, thank you very much.
I promised to blog about the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, and I sincerely thought I’d be able to do it in real time (or at least “day of”). However, the trip was so different than I ever imagined it would be and I simply was unable to post anything but the most cursory blogs because of the major travel issues (and, therefore, time issues) that we encountered. So much happened, and so many blog topics are awaiting their turn, but first I want to talk about the Rally itself, the show that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert put on, because that was the reason for the trip, wasn’t it?
I sort of feel that, since this is being written so many days after the fact, everything that can be said about the Rally has already been said all over the ‘net and the media. Everyone who cares about it knows what happened and how it went, so all I can really talk about is my own experience. And my experience was mostly the backs of other people’s heads (I’m very short, only 5’2”). Once in a while the guy who stood directly in front of me (after I had already been there for hours and could see fine until he got there AFTER the show started—but I’m not bitter) would move his big fat head and I could see, but those precious moments were rare. In fact, the view of the back of his head is burned into my retinas. But that’s a story for another blog.
After realizing that I would never be able to take pictures without being able to see what I was aiming at, I stumbled upon a trick that you’ll see in this picture of the O’Jays. (If you click on the thumbnail, you’ll see where they are onstage, because I circled them in red.) I had to hold my camera above everyone’s heads and I had no idea what it was aimed at. However, there was a space in the trees just above the JumboTron, so I tried to aim my camera at that light blue space and that’s how I knew I was in the general vicinity of getting a picture of the monitor and, hopefully, the stage. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not so much.
But back to the show. As I mentioned, we got there VERY early, like 9AM-ish and the people were just beginning to filter into the Mall. It was a very cold morning, but our Sanity and Reason kept us warm. At around 10, the pre-show started on the JumboTrons that were placed all over the Mall. The pre-show consisted of all of the Daily Show/Colbert Report segments from the past few weeks where they talked about the upcoming rally, as sort of a build-up to the big day. We were all getting a little antsy, mostly because we’d been there so long. Finally, at 11:58, the JumboTron showed a countdown of two minutes. Yay!!! We all started counting down the seconds with the monitor. One minute to go! Yippee! We can’t wait! Bring on the Sanity and/or Fear! Go! Go! Go!
At straight up noon, the show began and the crowd went wild. But then we all realized, “Hey, that’s not Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. That’s a band.” I don’t know about anyone else, but I felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story reading his coded message, “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.” Rats. A crummy commercial.
The band played forever and ever and ever. Yes, they were good. No, I had no idea who they were, at the time. I found out later it was John Legend and The Roots. I still don’t know who that is, but apparently that’s because I’m old, not because they aren’t well known.
Once they were finally done playing (again, it’s not that they weren’t really good, it’s that I came to see Jon Stewart) the Mythbusters, Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, came out for a while and did a few crowd experiments, like seeing how long it would take a crowd this size (the official count was 215,000) to do the wave. That was actually a lot of fun, because we could see on the JumboTron (this was while I could still see it) what it looked like as the wave rippled across the crowd. They also had us all jump at the same time to see how much we could make the earth move. Adam estimated that “20 million pounds of meat” would be hitting the ground when everyone landed. The seismograph showed that our jump was “14 trillion times weaker than 1906 earthquake in San Francisco” or “100 times stronger than a 35mph car collision.”
Finally, at 1:00, the actual show started. Jon (circled in red, onstage) came out to a huge reception and welcomed the crowd.
Stephen, of course, played the fear card and made his entrance from below the stage through a tube like the trapped miners used. Funny, but even funnier, to me, was his Greatest Poem Ever Written, as read by Sam Waterston.
For me, however, one big highlight of the show was when Jon announced Yusuf Islam (forever known to me as Cat Stevens) to sing Peace Train. Although it was very funny when Ozzy Osbourne interrupted—in answer to Colbert’s request for a fearful song (Crazy Train) to derail the Peace Train—I was really bummed out because I wanted to hear Cat Stevens!!! How often does one get to do that anymore? Well, at least the O’Jays got to sing Love Train start to finish.
At the risk of making this blog too long, I’ll just post a few more pictures that I managed to snap over the heads of the tall people (at my height, that’s pretty much everyone). I got a fairly clear shot of Sheryl Crow, who sang a few songs with Kid Rock. I did not, however, get anything but a JumboTron shot of John Oliver dressed as Peter Pan, trying to bring Jon back to life with our clapping, after Stephen announced him dead and defeated with his video montage of the scare-tactic media, telling us about all the things that can and will kill us and/or our children. Funny stuff. (BTW, this is the reason I quit working in the news. I got tired of hearing the anchors using the phrase “… to keep you safe” when teasing their upcoming stories, and having to filter it out—because of my distaste for fear mongering—before I posted the news on the MSNBC site.)
I think we were all amazed to see the show wrap up with living legend Tony Bennett’s acapella version of America the Beautiful. He hit every note, right where it should be. Lots of tears were flowing by the time he was done.
Overall, I think it was an amazing show, considering how little time they had to put it together. I’ve done standup comedy (seven years on the road) so I know how hard it is to do untested material in front of a live audience. Even Broadway plays are taken on the road before they debut in the Big Apple, in order to get it just right. These guys didn’t have that advantage, and they still pulled it off, with only a couple of minor hiccups and glitches. They talked briefly about this issue in a fascinating press conference, after the show, for the National Press Club.
The best part of the show for me, even beyond Cat Stevens, was Jon’s “Moment of Sincerity” speech at the end. If you have watched none of the other videos I’ve linked to on this blog, please at least watch this one, if only to hear him deliver the magnificent line, “If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.” Wow. That hit me as one of the wisest things I’ve heard in years. I even made a point, then and there, to pull out a pen and paper to write it down.
In my opinion, Jon Stewart is a very funny man, but more importantly he’s a rational thinker. I love his centrist, moderate tone and calm reaction to the shit that life throws our way. The Rally to Restore Sanity was the sanest thing I’ve seen in a long time, and that’s why we made such a gargantuan effort to get there, to show our support for that message. There is no need for shouting. There is no need for rancor. In the words of another famous gentleman, “Can’t we all just get along?”
Well, sort of. The Rally to Restore Sanity was a fun and awesome event, but insanity continues in everyday life as we try to get around in a city overwhelmed by too many people and too few buses. Jeff and I are heading back into the city today to do some sightseeing, and I haven’t been able to write a decent blog because we’re spending so very much time just getting to and from the city, but here are just a few pics as a sample of what the rally looked like. I’ll tell the fun stories once I have a minute to write.
This is the Mall as we arrived, very early, in order to get decent seats and a good view of the stage.
Team Sanity: Tracy, Val, Jeff, me and Clark. Please note the vast expanses of grass all around us.
Father Guido Sarducci delivers the benediction.
So much for getting there early. This dude’s head became my view of the stage for the next two hours. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Steven, Kareem Abdul Jabar and Jon on stage and Jumbotron.
One of my favorite signs. I’ll post another blog later with all the great signs and costumes I took pictures of.
In front of the stage, after the Rally.
After the Rally. We could never have gotten this close to the stage otherwise.
Gotta go! The shuttle is here to take us to the airport, to take us to the bus, to take us to DC. Oh, my achin’ dogs! (There’s you some dogs!)
I didn’t think I’d have time to post a decent blog before I leave for Washington DC in the morning (Jeff and I are going to the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear, hosted by Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, in case you live under a rock). But after I posted on Facebook that I wasn’t going to post anything tonight, a hole appeared in my evening and I was able to sit down and jot down a few notes.
I have to admit that part of me is terrified. This promises to be a huge crowd, with guaranteed mayhem on the rapid transit system. The sheer size of the event has me feeling a little claustrophobic, agoraphobic, and even arachnophobic. I’ll be fine once I get there, but I have a sick need to scare the shit out of myself just thinking about the enormity of the event. I do this every time I travel—can’t help it—but I always get over it once I’m in motion (and after downing a fistful of xanax with a glass of merlot. KIDDING! I KID! It’s half a xanax and a glass of cabernet).
Also, I’ve begun working on a life-changing and enormous writing project and it’s sort of taken over my life. To have this Rally occur while I’m extremely occupied elsewhere causes me to have to shift gears in a way that is sort of hard, but, again I’m doing it.
God, I wish I could talk about this new project because I’m bursting with excitement about it! It’s premature to say anything because of legal confidentiality agreements—plus it’s just too early to talk because sometimes leaking news dissipates the buildup of creative steam. Rest assured, however, that you will be fascinated by the new book I’m co-authoring.
I guess what this weekend boils down to is a test of my ability to shift gears and be fully in the moment, wherever I am. I have to put my project aside for a few days and just stop thinking about it so I can give the monumental (no pun intended) trip to DC and Rally my full attention, as it deserves.
I’m going to stop writing now because I’m almost speechless with antici …
Here's you a hot dog. And you better not try and hurt her, Frankfurter.
As Jeff and I begin to count the days until the Daily Show’s Rally to Restore Sanity next weekend, I have to start thinking about packing. I realized that I need a good, old-fashioned fanny pack to carry my stuff because I don’t care to be encumbered by a purse in a crowd of several thousand people. Unfortunately, fanny packs are currently out of style, making them impossible to find in local stores, so we set out today to find a substitute.
I don’t understand why on earth a useful tool like a fanny pack would be subject to the whims of fashion. Why can’t they be like purses—necessary, but with new and exciting designs? How else can one carry a decent amount of necessities without being stuck with the burden of keeping track of a purse? Even a backpack isn’t as useful, because it’s on your back (hence the name, right?) which, therefore, makes access difficult for the wearer but simple for a pickpocket. The fanny pack sits right there at your waist, just the right size and completely hands- and worry-free. So why can’t I buy a fanny pack, just because some fashionista has decided that they are passé? (Yes, I can get one on eBay, but that’s beside the point.)
Today, Jeff and I got on the bike and ventured out into the world, which is a wise thing to do once in a while anyway. It would be really easy to never leave the house except to buy groceries, because we really don’t have anywhere we have to go, both being unemployed. Staying in the house too long begins to feel like we’re covered with slow-setting cement, and the longer we go without getting out, the harder it is to break the crust of lethargy. So out we went.
On the way out the door, I finally happened to see our back yard tortoise at the same time I had the camera handy. One of my favorite things about living in Florida is the interesting wildlife (minus palmetto bugs … I could live without them, thank you very much) and our area is abundant with gopher tortoises. They are the bane of the construction industry, because they are protected species and if the construction cannot avoid a gopher tortoise burrow by 25 feet then a permit for relocation is necessary from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Our neighborhood has numerous tortoise holes, and one is right in my back yard.
You’d be amazed by how quickly these guys can move, in spite of their fabled sluggishness so I had to get over there quickly to catch it before it popped into its hole. They stop moving once they sense your presence, and send out pretty strong “get away from me” vibes, but once they realize that you’re not a threat, they go back to zipping along the grass to get to their hole as fast as they can.
Sometimes they get stuck crossing the road and it’s not an uncommon sight to see a car parked on the shoulder with the driver getting out to move the tortoise, who has frozen in the middle of the road because they sense the presence/threat of cars. The general rule of thumb is to just carry them across the road the rest of the way, in whichever direction they were pointing. It happens all the time and is just one of the many wonders of living in this part of the world.
So once my hard-shelled neighbor ducked into its hole, we went off on our mission, to find a substitute fanny pack. We headed to Walmart, but stopped at a garage sale on the way. I found this multi-use bowl for sale and took a picture because I don’t know that I’ll ever see another sign like this again. I didn’t buy it, however, because I simply do not need a mud/cement mold that can double as a dish for chips, vegetables or anything else, even if that is a whopping good price.
Once at Walmart, Jeff parked the bike in a row we’ve never parked in before and I took a moment to praise the uniqueness of this choice. I know this might sound weird, but when you don’t have a lot of money, you have to find your joy in the simple things, like parking in a spot you’ve never used before. I know for a fact that we never have parked there, because we always park on the far side of the building and have never been able to walk straight into the front door from our parking spot.
It reminded me of my habit of always keeping one bathroom stall in a commonly used public restroom as a mystery. For example, whenever I’ve worked in an office with multiple bathroom stalls, there is always at least one stall that I will never use. That way, no matter how long I’ve worked in the place, and how familiar and ho hum the place becomes over the years, there is always at least one place I’ve never seen. And on my last day working there, I will use that stall.
We passed through Walmart, in search of my new bag, and found this sticker on the inside of a large plastic storage bin. I believe this is just good advice: don’t store baby in a bin.
Finally, after searching the purse and backpack department, I found a bag that will suit my purposes in the camera department. It is the perfect size for my “writer’s kit.” It’s a camera bag for one of those big clunky cameras with the big old lens, and it’s the perfect size for my digital cam, cell phone, voice recorder, a pad of paper, a pen, batteries and business cards. It even has a belt loop attachment. I’m good to go! Washington DC, here we come!
Here's you a dog and Jeff's face Photoshopped onto Alice from the Brady Bunch. Amazing resemblance, no?
even funnier, to me, was his 
Here's you a blog ... 